October 2000 – Sincerely Sire Newsletter




It seems like it should be the opposite, but the longer Rosemarie (Roe) and I are married the harder it is to understand each other.  I don’t mean this in some sort of esoteric psychology sense; I mean we actually have a hard time understanding the words and syllables that are coming out of our mouths. 


For instance, the other day Roe’s car had to be taken into the shop to get some work done on it.  I was going to drive her car to the shop and she was already sitting in my car with the engine running so she could follow me.  I hopped into her car to go, but the keys which are usually on the floor were not there.  “Where are the keys?” I yelled out the car window.


“In the kitchen,” she said.  So I went in the house and looked all over the kitchen but couldn’t find them.  This annoyed me and she was getting annoyed too because I was taking so long.  So I open the front door and ask again, “Where are they?! 


“In the kitchen,” she yells.  “In the kitchen.” So I go back in the house and look all over the kitchen for a second time, but still can’t find them, so I check the den, living room and upstairs bedroom.  No keys.  I’m really getting irritated now, and a little nervous as well because I know how upset Roe gets when she has to wait for me.


Finally I give up, go outside and walk up to her open car window and put my face about two inches from her face, “Where are the keys?” I ask through clenched teeth. 


“Why did you keep running in the house (moron)?” she replies.  I said the keys are in the ignition.


Now if this were just an isolated incident, no big deal, but sometimes when she talks to me it like she’s speaking in tongues.  Not quite a religious experience but close.


It’s really strange too because after almost 26 years of being married to the woman, I many times know exactly what she is to going to say before she says it, but when she finally says it, I can’t understand it.  So most of the time I just fake it, like I understand her perfectly, because if I keep saying “What?” about fifteen times in a row she gets really angry and starts berating me.  “What’s the matter with you?” she says.  “Are you going deaf?  You better go see a doctor and get your ears checked.” 


Of course, what’s really funny is when we are carrying on a conversation where neither one of us has the wildest idea of what the other one is saying.  These types of conversations usually start with long strings of syllables and then end like this:










And then finally, fuming, she lashes out at me and says, “Watts dud hatter bit glue?  Bar glue rowing chef. “You butler go hex your gears wrecked.”


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