March 2000 Sincerely Sire Newsletter

 

Shocking Discovery

 

A few newsletters ago I told you about the eating habits of our dog, Callie, a 9 pound Boston Terrier, (who we have become very dependent upon, now that both our daughters have moved out).  I told you about how she was a real finicky eater, and that we had finally came up with something she liked, freshly cooked rice and chopped turkey.  Yes, she loved the stuff, trouble was, her tiny little digestive system didn’t.  So the search began anew for something she’d swallow.

 

We’ve tried every kind of dry dog food on the market and all she does is flip it up in the air and push it around on the floor like a hockey puck.  We’ve tried every brand of store-bought canned dog food under the sun and she barley nibbles at the stuff after starving herself all day, sometimes for two days.  She stares with great exaggerated disdain at her bowl of dog food, and then looks at us, “You expect me to eat this gruel,” she says with her body language.  When I open a can of dog food she runs outside.

 

Naturally, she does like anything we eat: pretzels, cookies, cucumbers, carrots, etc., but the vet told us to stop feeding her people food, that it wasn’t good for her.  (Yes, I tried faking like I’m eating dry dog food and then handing it to her, but she’s way to smart for that old people trick.  If I do manage to get a nibble into her mouth she gags and spits it out.)

 

“So”, we asked the vet, “what do we feed her then?”  The vet responded by giving us a new brand of special expensive dog food every other week.  Callie didn’t like any of it; what was wrong with our dog?  Why wouldn’t she eat her dog food?

 

Then one day, I get a call from a very excited Roe at the office.  She says, “Our dog is a cat.” 

 

“What?” I replied.  “You bought a new hat?”

 

“No, our dog’s a cat, our dog’s a cat!  And then catching her breath, “I went to the vet's office to get her another new brand of dog food today, but the vet was all out of dog food, so she gave me some cat food, and guess what, Callie loves it!”

 

I couldn’t believe it.  Our dog was a cat.  I rushed right home to watch her eat her new cat food with my own eyes.  It was true, she was gulping the stuff down in great heaping mouthfuls (Callie not Roe).

 

Now, of course, it’s not quite that simple or easy; even though it’s true, our dog is a cat, she wouldn’t eat just plain old cat food.  The vet told us to mix it up with dry mashed potatoes and a little warm water, which we do religiously. 

 

Well, a few days ago, we ran out of the brand of potatoes we had been using, Idaho Mashed Potatoes, so I went to the store to get some more, but the store was out of Idaho Mashed Potatoes, so I bought some Hungry Jack Mashed Potatoes.  Would you believe our dog, I mean cat, wouldn’t eat her cat food when mixed with Hungry Jack Mashed potatoes?  She demanded Idaho Mashed Potatoes.  I couldn’t believe it. 

 

So, now that I know that the barking was all an act, and that my dog is really a cat, I find myself compelled to rename her, and I know just what her new name is going to be—Spud.

 

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